In Memory of Gabriel Billmire

Last night, I had an experience that literally shook me to my inner core and I felt like I needed to express it in some way. This week I found out that my cousins little boy, Gabe had passed away after a long struggle with pulmonary hypertension. He was only 17 months old. I had never meet Gabe but had seen many pictures of him throughout his young life. He was an adorable little guy who brought lots of joy to his family.

My mom and I went to Gabe's viewing last night. I entered into this little private room and was overwhelmed with the profound sadness that hung in the air. I noticed Gabe's parent who were sitting on either side of his casket and I thought to myself, what would I ever do in this type of situation? Could I be that strong? As I approached Gabe's mom, I could no longer hold my tears in. As I hugged her, I knew there were no words that could take her pain away. I believe that mothers share this special bond and understanding. I hoped that my silent hug would bring her some sort of comfort. I then approached my cousin, Gabe's dad and my thoughts immediately turned to Charlie. I quickly hugged him and told him that he was a good little daddy. My heart just broke for these two young parents.



We stayed and visited with some family, but I could not get my emotions and thoughts together. Sadie was with me, she was smiling and talking to everyone. I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father for trusting and sending me Sadie. I thanked him for allowing me to the opportunity to be a mother. I prayed that he would watch over Gabe's family.



I got home last night and started to get Sadie ready for bed, following the usual routine, giving Sadie her medicine, changing her diaper, putting on her jammies and I thought how lucky I was to be able to do these things. I know that being a mom is a difficult, time-consuming, exhausting task. I know that it is so easy to start taking things for granted. I knew then that Heavenly Father often uses situations like Gabe's death to teach us and remind us to be grateful for what we have. Last night as I but Sadie to bed, I hugged her a little longer and gave her a few more kisses than usual.



I am writing about this as a reminder to "behold our little ones." We need to cherish every moment we have with them and be so grateful for the joy and happiness they bring into our lives. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father for all the blessings in my life, especially for Sadie and Charlie. I am thankful for the knowledge that I have about the after-life. I know that little Gabe is back with his Heavenly Father. I am grateful for the temple and the ordinances that take place there. I am so thankful for eternal families. My Heavenly Father has given me the GIFT of being a mother and I am incredibly honored.